My brain feels like the meal I just ate for dinner. It twists and turns like spaghetti covered in a cloud of confusion much like a sauce.
I have thought of so many things I could write about in the last two weeks, but honestly couldn’t settle on any single one. I feel lost in the sea of ideas with too many goals and ambitions.
When I decide I am going to do one thing, my body is filled with an extra dose of motivation and adrenaline, and I start to believe I should do everything at once. I attack life with passion, but my body is only human.
I cannot withstand the constant pressure of perfection oozing into my head. I’m unable to accomplish everything at the same time, despite all efforts to do so.
I’m my biggest critic. I know myself better than any other, and I cannot stand to watch myself fail. I know I can be better. Do more. Try harder. Push myself further.
Why can’t I succeed?
Why does every path have a locked door at the end of it?
How many “NO’s” can I take before I stop trying?
I guess those are some questions I have yet to answer. But for now, I will keep attempting the impossible.
I can’t quit.
I can’t give up.
Sure, the sheer number of rejections I have received over the years have been challenging. But I like the way this quote says it best.
Either I can work my butt off and deal with the pain of hard work and failure, or I can just not try at all and face the awful pain of regret.
I choose rejection over regret every time.
I just have to keep trusting that Heavenly Father has something good in the works for me. Every no is leading me to a better yes in the future. Confusion is only temporary.
XO – Heather